whore (

elitiste_bourge) wrote in

eljay_bitches,
@ 2003-12-09 02:06:00

Current music:

Morrissey - "Suedehead"

Nu
Basics
Name: Johnnie
Age: 17
Where do you live? Boston, MA

Your picture:

You the bitch...
What makes you such a bitch?: My cunt mother gave birth to me
What is the worst thing you have ever done to someone?: make them want to die
What is the worst thing you have ever done in general?: pissed on someone
Why are you even bothering to apply here?: because i was invited, asshole
People say you are...: cunty
And are you?: yes
Whom/What makes you sick?: people
Make us laugh: make ME laugh first

Opinions
How do you feel about rednecks? kill them
How do you feel about fat people? kill them
What is your opinion on abortion? kill them
Pop-punk bands? kill them
...Good Charlotte? kill them TWICE
What are your thoughts on racism? kill racists
And gay/lesbian marriages? I’m a fag so hell yeah
How do you feel about religious people? kill them
Do you believe in God? I AM God

Music Section...
Your five favorite bands: Gary Numan (Tubeway Army), Joy Division, The Police, The Human League, Ultravox
Your five favorite songs: “We Are Glass” - Gary Numan, “Ceremony” - Joy Division or New Order, “Blue Monday” - New Order, “Omega Man” - The Police, “Tracks” - Gary Numan
Insert your favorite song lyric here: “There is no God, so pray to me”
Your least favorite band is: anything pop punk, country, or ‘Christian rock’
Favorite music genre: Synthpop/New Wave
Stupidest song lyric: ALL OF GOOD CHARLOTTE’S SONGS!
Do you play instruments? Hopefully I’ll get better at the synth

Favorites
Movie: Donnie Darko (mostly because of the soundtrack)
TV show: Family Guy
Food: Japanese
Drink: Vodka
Remark/Insult: Suck a fuck
Clothing Store: Thrift
Book: 1984
Actor: As long as he’s hot he’s my favorite
Actress: Molly Ringwald

(Post a new comment)

markahix
2003-12-09 12:29 am UTC (link)

I'd like to thank you for posting this application. I was having trouble sleeping, you see, and now I feel I could sleep for days. I have been holding back my full strength from this community for just this occasion...
I will now proceed to gut and devour every single response to each question, in turn.
Name: Johnnie.. Okay, I'm the only guy here, all other guys have been summarily put to death. Go away.
Age: 17... as a male, this age is equivalent to roughly a 12 year old girl in maturity level (as your answers to later questions will prove)
Location: Boston, MA... Nyeh, whatever. This is unimportant.
Picture: Okay, first of all, welcome to 2003. Bomber shades went out in the late eighties or early nineties. Grow up, evolve, die, whatever. But please, do not think that being fifteen years out of fashion is "trendy" or "retro", cause frankly, it ain't.

What Makes you the bitch? okay, your answer proves nothing other than your mother was ill-informed as to the option of abortion. I'm sure she spends every waking moment praising whatever deity she worships that you have such hatred for her.
Worst thing done to someone: Okay, great, you've made someone want to die. When you can actually drive them to suicide, I'll give a rat's ass. Until then, you're just a jerk. Begone.
Worst thing in general: Pissing on someone? That's the best you can do? Fetish jokes aside, seek help.
Why are you applying? Everyone is invited in some form or fashion. The answer we were looking for was anything but that.
People say you are: cunty... riiiiight. Uh, I'm not even going to bother on that one.
And are you? ditto.
What makes you sick? People... So generic, i wonder what grocery store you're from. Honest to god, you need to learn that sometimes, elaboration is a good thing! We all learned this back in the fourth grade, and while I realize that the fourth grade may yet be three years above your mentality, I still have some level of intelligence I demand from applicants.
Make Us Laugh.... This question was not open for discussion, make me laugh or I remove your spleen. simple as that.

Rednecks, Fat People, Abortion, Pop-punk, and Good Charlotte if your response to everything is kill them, I am amazed they allow you access to a computer in the institution. Increase the dosage man, please.
Gay/lesbian marriages: Okay, first of all, nobody gives a flying fuck if you're gay. That has nothing to do with bitchiness. I'm a straight guy in a community full of girls, and if you ask any of the ladies that I converse with outside of the community, you will know it. I'm a bitch. I'm straight. If you think that saying you're gay will help your chances, well... you're wrong.

Religious people: kill them... I take it you're not exactly Roman Catholic... Ignorance is all you have thus far, and the profoundly obnoxious repetition of the phrase "kill them"
Do you believe in God? I AM god... First of all, I know god. He's got his own journal, and His main goal is not to kill all people who are members of any group whatsoever. Check him out.

darkenedgod. He's wise, you see, but not obnoxious about it.

(Reply to this)

markahix
2003-12-09 12:29 am UTC (link)

Five Favorite bands: I'm not gonna comment, I don't give a fuck. wait... no, I do. You haven't listed any bands that I give a rat's ass about, and thus, in my expert opinion, you suck.
Five songs... same as above. you suck.
Insert favorite lyric here: okay, you're a dork. and you're not God. Get over the loss of worshippers. You suck.
Least Favorite band: This said BAND, not GENRE. Listing Genres only shows that you are nothing more than a close minded little shitbag. Open your mind up a little bit (perhaps removing your head from your ass would expedite this action) and listen to something you've never heard.
Favorite Music Genre: Okay, we're looking for something that actually exists, not crap that you pulled outta your ass. put it back, or shit it out. don't hold it and call it rose petals.
stupidest Lyric: It says right there, LYRIC, not a SHOUTING AGAINST GOOD CHARLOTTE! jesus, man, learn to read.
instrument Synth? Are you serious? a monkey with enough time on his hands can play the damn synth. Learn a real one, or play nothing. But don't be such a half assed little musically disinclined weasel.

Movie: Donnie Darko... I'm willing to bet that you didn't even understand the movie, nor did you grasp its underlying implications against the social order in Suburban American Society
TV Show .... please, watch something that has more substance to it. For god's sake, the dog talks. it's all humor and no material. wake up.
Food... Okay, you're gonna have to be more specific. I can say American and end up with over ten thousand recipes. and Americans have very few recipes compared to other nationalities. think, man, think!
Drink: Vodka... right, well, first of all, since you're underage, you only put that because you think it makes you cool, and you only drink it when you're at a party. You do not know how to enjoy it, nor do you know how to take it like a man. Vodka is one of the more popular alcohols, right there next to beer. Perhaps some 12 year old scotch would put some hair on your balls, but until then, shut up and say sprite like nobody else has.
Remark/Insult: Suck a fuck... That is by far the most depressing attempt at an insult I have ever heard, and i've read a lot of these applications, many of them deleted because the applicant couldn't bear my vicious barrage of insult after insult. This is the worst one yet. I mean, hell, at least the others made a reference to the intelligence of the victim or the sexual permiscuity of their mother, I mean SOMETHING TANGIBLE at the least.
Clothing Store: Thrift.... Ummm... well, the picture agrees, so I give you points for honesty. or lack of fashion sense. I thought fags were supposed to have some kind of ability to dress themselves?
Book: 1984 Okay, let's all pick a book that every middle school child has read, and pretend that we are of the well-read elite of society! Why not go to the library and get a book you've never heard of... like the dictionary.
Actor: .... God, you're just sad.
Actress: I won't pretend to know. but she must not be that important or recent. so, fuck you.

Well, having braved the entire length of the application, I have but one more word to impart before I go.

NO

Have a nice day! and die! please!

(Reply to this)(Thread)

mtucker
2003-12-09 06:17 am UTC (link)

I thought fags were supposed to have some kind of ability to dress themselves?
I don't truly think he is a fag. In his LJ profile, he calls himself "a faggot" from Boston...and therefore I conclude that he is gay only to be cool. He will grow out of it when he graduates college and meets a nice girl with at least two teeth so he can settle down and make her pop a kid out every ten months or so.

Your thrashing of the creatin was superb. *applauds*

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	elitiste_bourge 2003-12-09 12:02 pm UTC (link)
	I'll fuck your father, dick. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	mtucker 2003-12-09 01:00 pm UTC (link)
	Aw how original. I think that what you really need is to stick your face in a nice warm wet pussy man. I bet it's better than getting shit on your dick. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	elitiste_bourge 2003-12-09 12:03 pm UTC (link)
	Way to be wretchedly bitchy. Good job. Now fuck off. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	markahix 2003-12-09 12:37 pm UTC (link)
	Oooooh... Now that was original! I applaude you! You still get a big fat fucking NO! Your lord and master, Mark (Reply to this)(Parent)

	courtneyiscool 2003-12-09 04:09 pm UTC (link)
	You're telling her to fuck off? No, you fuck off because this is our community you ass face. I didn't really hate you so much, and I was gonna maybe say yes. But when you started getting all pissed that people said no, and proving that you can't take a few bad comments I changed my mind. p.fucking.s-- NO (Reply to this)(Parent)

industrikitty
2003-12-09 12:38 am UTC (link)

I like you!

YES!

(Reply to this)

	normal_freak 2003-12-09 05:01 am UTC (link)
	Will you marry me? It won't be a sex thing, we can just listen to music and watch movies together. Yes. (Reply to this)

mtucker
2003-12-09 06:08 am UTC (link)

What makes you such a bitch?: My cunt mother gave birth to me Hey fuckwad..I have given birth before and I think that you are an asshole to say that to your mother....now if she did something like....beat the shit out of you or...rape you...then that's different. Being a bitch doesn't mean being an ass, too.
Minus ten points.
And I don't think you are God. I think you're gonna burn in hell!!!!!
I don't wanna read the rest of your application. Go away creatin.

NO!

Ninja Bitch has spoken.

(Reply to this)

	betsydollscream 2003-12-09 08:02 am UTC (link)
	You don't seem like you put a lot of effort into this, and yet something is making me not hate you. Buh. Why not? YES. (Reply to this)

	adhesive 2003-12-09 09:49 am UTC (link)
	I've voted for you in other communities, and it does make me want to just give you a 'yes' for that, but I don't know, your application here just sucked fat cock. no (Reply to this)(Thread)

	elitiste_bourge 2003-12-09 11:59 am UTC (link)
	Yeah well I guess the application took after the person who wrote it. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	nightmasquerade 2003-12-09 11:42 am UTC (link)
	Wow, how long did that take you...5 seconds? Your application sucks, aside from the fact you like Joy Division. I think you need to join Ian Curtis [for those people that don't know, Ian Curtis of Joy Division committed suicide]...right now. Please rid the world of your stupidity. No. (Reply to this)(Thread)

	mtucker 2003-12-09 11:44 am UTC (link)
	Hmm perhaps Curt Kobain then for those who don't know who Ian Curtis is. ;) (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	elitiste_bourge 2003-12-09 11:58 am UTC (link)
	Fuck Curt Kobain! Nirvana did a great job ripping off the Pixies. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	elitiste_bourge 2003-12-09 11:57 am UTC (link)
	I hope your mother gets epilepsy like Ian Curtis. Douchebag. I wish love would tear you a new asshole. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	nightmasquerade 2003-12-09 12:08 pm UTC (link)
	Aww, widdle boy tried to make an insult...how ~~cute~~ INCREDIBLY RETARDED. Ian Curtis's soul cries for you and your stupidity. Ever heard that song called "Something Must Break"? He's talking about your neck. GO DIE. NOW. KTHX. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	elitiste_bourge 2003-12-09 12:13 pm UTC (link)
	And look, the wise and all-knowing bastard child of stupidity and ignorance strikes again. Way to use a song title to insult me. That's pretty FUCKING LAME. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

nightmasquerade
2003-12-09 12:23 pm UTC (link)

Your application was stupid and ignorant, so I voted no. Great job on being a hypocrite.

I think it's hilarious that you're trying to insult me, considering I already got into this community, and you haven't. I think THAT'S pretty fucking lame. You're extremely good at being a whiney little cunt....it's too bad they don't have rating communities based on that, because I'm pretty sure you would make it in just fine.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	elitiste_bourge 2003-12-09 12:48 pm UTC (link)
	Wow... using the "nah nah nah I got in and you didn't so you suck" approach. Very grade school of you. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	nightmasquerade 2003-12-09 12:50 pm UTC (link)
	Just stating a fact, you cunt. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	_screamer 2003-12-09 12:37 pm UTC (link)
	i don't know, i definately don't hate you. ...actually, i like you a lot, even though your application was lacking a little bit. yes (Reply to this)

(Reply from suspended user)

	phantom_enigma 2003-12-09 12:54 pm UTC (link)
	Your picture reminded me of that Gary Numan video...shudder I'm all about the 80s, but not the fashions. If you're really gay, then you're a disgrace to the community. You didn't seem to put much effort into this application either. NO. (Reply to this)(Thread)

	elitiste_bourge 2003-12-09 01:29 pm UTC (link)
	The "I die, You die" video? yeah Gary is my LOVER... so I take it as a compliment. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	phantom_enigma 2003-12-09 06:55 pm UTC (link)
	I just meant the hideous fashion sense. Oh god, the "random rock star is my lover" spiel? Yeah, you are lame. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	_ashlinn_ 2003-12-09 01:26 pm UTC (link)
	I think I'm going to submit your picture to fashion_five0 you seem to like the 80's without irony which is MORALLY WRONG! Esp. considering you weren't really around long enough to be able to remember them either! NO NO NO NO now give Peter Murphy back his sunglasses before he kills YOU (Reply to this)(Thread)

	elitiste_bourge 2003-12-09 01:30 pm UTC (link)
	hahaha die (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	_ashlinn_ 2003-12-09 01:32 pm UTC (link)
	wow, he's creative AND ugly, gie him a fucking oscar he's certainly too good for this community... oh and did I mention NO (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	nightmasquerade 2003-12-09 02:32 pm UTC (link)
	I really want you to put his pic on that community, LMFAO. I think a couple of our other applicants could go on there as well. evil grin (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	_ashlinn_ 2003-12-09 02:33 pm UTC (link)
	unfortunatly I don't think I can post a pic of his face without his permission, and he doesn't seem like the friendly type :( (Reply to this)(Parent)

	markahix 2003-12-09 02:54 pm UTC (link)
	Somebody reject this posterchild for abortion. He's got two more no votes than yes. Baleet Him!! (Reply to this)(Thread)

	nightmasquerade 2003-12-09 03:39 pm UTC (link)
	Hopefully you'll be made into a mod so you can do it yourself. ^_^ (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	mtucker 2003-12-09 03:50 pm UTC (link)
	here here!! raises glass (Reply to this)(Parent)

	markahix 2003-12-09 04:02 pm UTC (link)
	If "if"s were skifs, my dear, we'd all have boats. For the people who didn't understand that, a skif is a type of boat. Thus, if we had if's, we'd have boats. Ah forget it. Vote Mark for Mod!!! (Reply to this)(Parent)

	desist 2003-12-09 03:01 pm UTC (link)
	I've seen you in other communities, and you sounded VERY cool there, but here... You're just not trying. No. (Reply to this)