Current mood:	aggravated
Current music:	Heather Alexander- Kiss Me, Jack Frost

It doesn't taste any better coming back the other way, either.
Though a little variety is always nice.

Story or Series Title: A Ring of Pure and Endless Light. (Limyaael thumps author for ripping off Henry Vaughan. Then Limyaael thumps author for ripping off Madeleine L'Engle. Hey, two for the price of one, not to be sniffed at).
Fandom: LOTR.
Culprit's Author's Name: Frodo-Gurl19.

Full Name: Diamond. *pause* Hippy parents, perhaps?
Full Species(es): Puella moderna...

Oh. Wait. This one pulls Frodo into Earth, instead of dropping herself into Middle-Earth.

Need new species name.

Puella worldwreckus. There. Supposedly human.
Hair Colour: "Her loose, black, shoulder length , straight hair." Congratulations, author! Here is your "Awkward Hair Description" Award.
Eye Colour: "blue-turning gray eyes." So they're gray and can turn blue, or they're blue and currently turning gray, or they can revolve and are currently spinning towards the blue side of the spectrum? Who knows?
Unusual Markings: None- unless you count Frodo somehow knowing that she looks exactly like a 19 year old human should look.
Special Possessions: LOTR DVD and books that she taunts Frodo with. A silver chain that possibly holds the One Ring.

Annoying Origin: She's on Earth.
Annoying Connections to Canon Characters She pulls Frodo through a gate into Earth, apparently taking the One Ring from him. Then she takes him back to her apartment and takes him shopping. For shoes. Yes.
Annoying Special Abilities: Able to make Frodo human height when he comes through the gate. Able to speak to Frodo, even though you'd think he wouldn't understand her. Able to call him "Lij" and not have him freak out. Able to make him start to fall in love with her.
Other Annoying Traits: Story switches to script format halfway through. Bad script format. Story also treads the line between LOTR fanfiction and RPF.

Please include a small sample of the worst of the story;



When Diamond woke up, she found a cold hand slapping her cheek.

Wouldn't that be what wakes her up, rather than what she found when she woke up?

She opened her blue-turning grey eyes to see a face above her, looking concerned and desperate. "You're awake." The man said.

She's obviously crazy about Elijiah Wood, and makes a big deal later on in the story about how exactly Frodo resembles him. What are the chances that she wouldn't recognize him at once? At least be internally consistent with your own twisted universe, author.

"yes, so it would appear." Diamond said slowly as she lifted herself up from the cold ground of her neighbourhood McDonalds. Her loose, black, shoulder length , straight hair was in her face. She brushed it away hastily.

There are about a million better ways to describe your character's hair, if you really have to. But then, description is not this author's strong suit.

*Trying to think of what is this author's strong suit*

*thinking*

*thinking*

Suddenly she remembered why she was on the ground in the first place. She glanced at the sword that the stranger still held in his hand. Diamond was uneasy, and she scuttled off

Like the insect that she was.

into the corner where she had found him earlier on. He looked at her puzzled at first, then looked in her range of vision,

How'd he do that? Seize her head and hold it still? Take over her mind?

at the sword, he hastily put it away. He looked desperate for help. He tried to speak, but Diamond got there first. "W-who are you? What are you doing here, and why on God's earth do you have a sword???"

Why is there more than one question mark? Why? *breaks down crying*

Diamond asked in a speed faster then even the sharp ears of Elves could not understand it.

Let me know if you figure out what that sentence means.





Disclaimer: I own nobody I tell u!!!!!!!!!!!!

Five exclamation points are the sign of insanity, according to Terry Practchett. I believe there are thirteen there. What do you think the chances of the author recovering are?

A/N: If I suck at this it's not my fault!!!!!!

Reaction 1: Oh, yes it is.
Reaction 2: Even if it isn't your fault that you suck, it is your fault if you post it.

I have lots of imagination

Honey, you're writing a Mary Sue. That makes one hell of a statement about your imagination, which you'd have to pay me to contradict.

but I think I left all my grammar back in the 5th grade!!!!!!! <.>

....

A/N: I'm changing the way that the charcters speak just cause it's easier.

And heaven forbid that writing should take any effort.





Frodo: :::In the mattress bed with a blanket and pillow::: Goodnight Diamond, sleep well.

Frodo (darkly): And dream lots of evil dreams! Hey, I never said you should dream well.

Diamond: :::Half asleep, but half awake::: Love you, Lij. ::: Falls asleep:::

At this point I would remove myself quietly from her apartment.

Frodo: :::Gets up and kisses Diamond on the cheek.::: If this time of dispair and darkness does not conquer us, I may learn how to love.

*Limyaael chokes on the sap*



Good things... good things...

It's not a 'girl goes to Middle-Earth' fic?