damnportlanders: need your input

Cheers Darling (

snowbunny1983) wrote in

damnportlanders,
@ 2005-02-15 12:42:00

need your input
[ im doing this for a school project and i need to get as many people as possible to answer ]

what was it that initially attracted you to the person who you now consider your best friend? [was it external charactristics like clothing style, or things that have to do with the personality aspect...or whatever else you can think of]

EDIT: if you can please also include your gender and your friend's gender as well

your help would be greatly appreciated!
:-D

-S

(Post a new comment)

	cheekyassmonkey 2005-02-15 08:45 pm UTC (link)
	external is what caught my eye, internal is what kept my interest. (Reply to this)(Thread)

	snowbunny1983 2005-02-15 08:47 pm UTC (link)
	is your best friend male or female? [and what gender are you] (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	cheekyassmonkey 2005-02-15 08:54 pm UTC (link)
	we're both female. we've been best friends for 35 years. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	nesmonster 2005-02-15 08:55 pm UTC (link)
	Holy crap, way to go. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	cheekyassmonkey 2005-02-15 09:00 pm UTC (link)
	yeah, she is the best. (Reply to this)(Parent)

lonnerz
2005-02-15 08:46 pm UTC (link)

usually it starts with mirror eagerness, one intruiged about the other. It has been said that women's best friends are usually like platonic relationships. They look for someone who shares their views, will hang out often, talk often, and share intimate details of their life. When the argue, its over similar things a person in a relationship would. I believe that theory, so I also believe that people atttract themselves to others as friends by common views, values and ideas of having fun. When you think of who you lost as a friend, wasnt it sometimes due to each of you growing apart and not liking the same things anymore?

(Reply to this)(Thread)

	snowbunny1983 2005-02-15 08:50 pm UTC (link)
	that's a really good point. it all has to do with our narcissism that explains our attraction to people who are so much like us. I am yet to meet two people who are best friends but are as different as day and night. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

lonnerz
2005-02-15 08:55 pm UTC (link)

im not sure..for me I dont think its narcissism, because I have friends who are religious and im am definitly not into organized religion. I think its about acceptance and values. If a person cannot fathom and udnerstand someone who isnt faithful, then they probably wont become good friends with them, and that does sound narcissistic. But what about those who arent good friends but it isnt because of their values and beliefs, but just lack of something in common?

I heard a quote once, that there are three types of friendships. Ones that come into our lives that help us through something, and then fade away, ones that grow and change together, and ones that fall apart after each, or one changes.

(Reply to this)(Parent)

	broknashleydoll 2005-02-15 08:49 pm UTC (link)
	she was a lot like me. it was deffinitly the internal, though she is beautiful. (Reply to this)

poopymonkeykid
2005-02-15 08:53 pm UTC (link)

One of my very best friends started out as a crush in middle school (him-male, me-female). We were both too chicken to ask eachother out and our version of flirting was just getting to know eachother and hanging out. After a while I guess we both kind of lost romantic interest in eachother and became really good friends. Not untill almost the end of high school did we tell eachother that we had a thing for eachother in middle school, but by then we were pretty much attached at the hip so it was pretty amusing.

(Reply to this)

	_white_rabbit_ 2005-02-15 08:54 pm UTC (link)
	My bestfriend and I hated each other at first. but we found a hatred for the same person who was both of ours best friend at the time, and since they we've been the bestest friends. now 5 years later I'm helping her plan her wedding and she's supporting me in my choice to move away. so I guess it was internally for us both. and if you hadn't cought on...we're both female. (Reply to this)(Thread)

	snowbunny1983 2005-02-15 09:14 pm UTC (link)
	thats really interesting because initially upon meeting them i hated each of the three girls im now really close with. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	_white_rabbit_ 2005-02-15 09:36 pm UTC (link)
	and it was that way with both of my best friends. (Reply to this)(Parent)

tabbylove
2005-02-15 08:57 pm UTC (link)

I met my best friend Krista in the sixth grade. I was new to the school and I had short boy-looking hair which in sixth grade was a little strange, at least at this school. Krista was part of a group of kids that had grown up together and knew everyone. During the first week of school we discovered we both had the same 'special edition' keds.
This cemented our relationship as acquaintances but we weren't friends yet by any means. We knew each other all through middle school and it wasn't until our first year of high school that we actually became so close. I think it was due to a mutual distaste for authority that's so common at that age. We're both 24 and have been the best of friends since and I know we'll have each other forever. But without those keds, who knows where we'd be.

(Reply to this)

	nesmonster 2005-02-15 09:00 pm UTC (link)
	He can laugh at a dead baby joke or two and not raise an eyebrow like I'm a complete and crude loony. (Reply to this)

	discordspuppet 2005-02-15 09:00 pm UTC (link)
	i think it was pheremones... lovely little chemicals that caught my subconcious and dropped me into a spiderweb of addiction... me 27 her 26 (Reply to this)(Thread)

	vwsandcoffee 2005-02-15 09:08 pm UTC (link)
	hehe... and here i thought it was a mutual dislike of a certain person :p to keep it on topic... managed to end up at the same place at the same time by coincidence just mutual interests and such kept things going from there... both 27(m) (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	discordspuppet 2005-02-16 08:41 am UTC (link)
	off topic.. nope.. i actually have to give it to that person.. wouldnt be here if not for her... (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	vwsandcoffee 2005-02-16 03:15 pm UTC (link)
	true (Reply to this)(Parent)

ghotighued
2005-02-15 09:14 pm UTC (link)

I'm male, my two best friends are both female. I met best friend #1 in high school. We had a mutual group of friends all through high school, but didn't really get to know each other until our senior year when we were i the same two choirs. After graduation all of our mutual friends seemed to disappear, and we found that we were constantly calling each other to go do something. She has a fun and exciting personality and was always there, plus we shared a lot of common interests. Our favorite thing to do that summer (and thereafter) was drive around maniacally in the countryside singing at the top of our lungs along with our favorite songs. She had a best friend at the time who soon became involved in oue adventures, and the three of us grew very close to one another. We called ourselves jokingly "the crazy love triangle." They have both since graduated from college and begun their careers, but have drifted apart some as best friends. I still remain very close to the both of them going on 5 years now.

I would have to say that there wasn't much initial attraction on my part, though that grew over time. I love them both very much. There have been certain times when I have considered my possibilities with one or both of them (intimately, that is) but it has never gone beyond consideration. I Believe we share a mutual bond that stems from experience, personality similarities and even dissimilarities, and philosophies. Those have changed over time with each of us, but I still hold them both very dear. If you were to ask me with whom I am closest, I would have a hard time answering. I admit that my relationship with each of them is different than the other, but I would not be able to choose one or the other as "bestest friend."

I hope that helps. If you need any more info, let me know.

(Reply to this)

dinobryce
2005-02-15 09:18 pm UTC (link)

at first it was about physical appearance when my friend john and i started hanging out- he dresses very gothy and it is difficult to not notice when you haven't talked to him. i was intrigued by him (and my previous best friend relationship had just gone to shit) and so we spent a lot of time together after school. i had blue hair at the time, and i think that was one of the reasons he started talking to me- he's said that before he'd talked to me, he had been watching "the girl with blue hair".

it is strange to think that was only 3 years ago.

(Reply to this)

	We had the same name puncher 2005-02-15 09:19 pm UTC (link)
	His was Corey, mine was Cory. I had to change mine. We were in 1st grade. We're both male. (Reply to this)

	calm_waters 2005-02-15 09:27 pm UTC (link)
	we're both girls we were nine and she was always whining about not having any friends... and i prided myself on making friends with everyone. the codependency grew from there. aww how i miss her... she's all the way down in texas. (Reply to this)

kismets
2005-02-15 09:28 pm UTC (link)

I have 3 best friends.

Outside appearances have rarely anything to do with my attraction to people who I want in my life.

One is a guy - we started dating each other and it grew into a best friend relationship and since we've broken up he's remained my best friend.

One is a girl - who is very similar to myself in interests but completely different in personality. She's loud and opinionated and will tell anyone how she thinks. I think it's that oppositeness that keeps us so close.

The last is also a girl - we've known each other since highschool (about 10 years now) and we are very similar in attitude and she's my leaning post and vice versa.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

	calm_waters 2005-02-15 09:31 pm UTC (link)
	wow i wish i had so many good friends. hell i wish i had one good close friend. see above statement regarding my bestfriend (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	kismets 2005-02-15 10:18 pm UTC (link)
	I have a ton of good friends, but those are the ones I consider best :) You bio states your name is serendipity that's where my nick originated from :) sorry I thought that was funny (Reply to this)(Parent)

thirty_three
2005-02-15 09:35 pm UTC (link)

My best friend Heather was a year behind me in school. I transfered in to her school as a Junior and started dating her boyfriend's friend. She hated me because she thought I had broken him up from his ex-girlfriend and thought I would try to steal hers as well (ah, the pure stupidity of 15 years old).

I remember feeling very sad that someone who was so quiet and demure apparently hated me so I felt compelled to show her I wasn't a boyfriend stealer. In the end we ended up bonding because we were so incredibly polar in our mannerisms and thought processes that we learned from one another.

I think we rely on one another to keep in each other in check. So, we've been best friends for almost 11 years now and she is my children's godmother, my maid of honor and my confidante. But to be honest, we have little in common save for our adoration and commitment to our friendship.

(Reply to this)

jadesix
2005-02-15 09:52 pm UTC (link)

(male - male)

In middle school, we were both in MESA, and the only way I could stay after school to participate was if someone could give me a ride. He said his mom wouldn't mind. I was new to the school, dressed in hand-me-downs, and was considerably overweight. He was the first person who treated me with any decency - like a friend. Our personalities clicked, and we've been best friends for almost 12 years now.

(Reply to this)

	maile 2005-02-15 10:03 pm UTC (link)
	I admired Autum's strength. Probably the teeeniest woman I know with the strongest mind and heart. The friendship grew out of mutual respect. <3 my hetero life mate (Reply to this)

wakemeupinside
2005-02-15 10:07 pm UTC (link)

I hated my best friend when I first met her. She was wealthy and pretentious and thought she was better than everybody (haha actually still does) and I was the little girl who's parents never had any money and had just divorced.

we're going on 14 years now. The only thing we really have in common is a great love of.. wait.. we really don't have anything in common. We make a ritual of going to see the Mariners at least twice every summer, and as for more than that.. she's water, I'm oil.

It works though. We kinda balance each other out on multiple levels.

(Reply to this)

	_sailorstar_ 2005-02-15 10:30 pm UTC (link)
	My best freind is male im female. He is gay though, does that mean anything? His sense of humor is what attracted me to him. (Reply to this)

	jolly_dreamer 2005-02-15 10:38 pm UTC (link)
	My best friend is male, I am female. What first attracted me to him was definately his sense of humor, which makes sense seeing as how we are pretty sure we were seperated at birth. (Reply to this)

oatmeal
2005-02-15 11:04 pm UTC (link)

I'm a 26-year-old male. my best friend is 23 and female.

When we first met, I was attracted to her physical appearance (she's *hot*) and her openness. We didn't know each other but by the end of the night we were drawing on one another with sharpies. I woke up the next morning with her phone number written on my chest. Had to go wash it off before my girlfriend woke up. We dated for a while, disliked each other for a bit after that, and for the last two years she's been my best friend.

(Reply to this)

	sqwrloffortune 2005-02-15 11:59 pm UTC (link)
	I am male, 20, my best friend is female, 19. We actually learned of each other's existence on Livejournal, living in the same building freshman year. We just got along really well from the start, even though I had little to no initial physical attraction. A sense that we could communicate and felt instantly comfortable in each others' presence. (Reply to this)

	lokidecat 2005-02-16 12:02 am UTC (link)
	My best friend is male. The reason we're best friends is we've experienced a similar life, got very similar personalities, and at time seem to even share a brain. I don't choose my best friends on appearance. I go by what's inside. We're more kindred spirits, brothers if you will, than anything. (Reply to this)(Thread)

	lokidecat 2005-02-16 12:03 am UTC (link)
	Oh ya. And i'm male. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	snowbunny 2005-02-16 12:36 am UTC (link)
	The girl I consider my best friend is such because I don't feel like we have to compete with each other. It always seems like girls feel the need to be better than everyone else, and she and I don't do this. I know I can trust her and vise versa. (Reply to this)

wheatheart
2005-02-16 04:10 am UTC (link)

short story: My current closest friend is someone I met the first day of classes my freshman year of college. She came in the building and asked me if I was in a certain class and if we could sit together and that she was so excited to be in college! Yeah, sounds dorky and here I am, Miss Introvert-Shy-Not-A-Talker being bombarded with words from this chick. Well I was a bit overwhelmed and didnt know anyone else there and she did seem nice, so I sat with her in class and we went to lunch after. Turns out we were a lot alike. I thought she was crazy at first.

I'm a gal who tends to have friends who are more extroverted than me.

(Reply to this)

	pherriswheel 2005-02-16 06:13 pm UTC (link)
	My best friend and I met briefly in person and then cultivated an AIM friendship, which eventually became a real-life sexual relationship. I was attracted to him because he's honest, sweet, and really fun. Our romantic relationship didn't work out and now we are really close as friends. He's a he and I'm a she. (Reply to this)

	inkslaive 2005-02-16 07:59 pm UTC (link)
	friends for nearly 28 years...both female...i'm a lesbian, she is straight...became friends due to proximity (she moved in across the street)...maintained due to internal (Reply to this)

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