Current mood:

amused

We rejected the Greatest Role Player Ever!
Yet another priceless gem from Shadow Star!

So we get this character form from a new player. Her email address begins with "cyber0slut" followed by random numbers. That starts off the warning bells. And then follows the character...

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Moderator comments are in italics.

Age: 219
Gender: Male
Species: Half angel, half dragoon
Loyalty: Neutral
Appearance: He is 6'3 and weighs about 160 lbs without clothes. He is very skinny, but is quicker than anything else ever seen. [Quicker than anything else ever seen? Um... okaaaay...] His hair is ebony black and falls about his shoulders when it's not tied back. His eyes are the sharpest of blue and seem to peirce a person straight to their soul. He has multiple scars on his face, hands, arms, chest, and a few on his butt-cheeks. [...on his BUTT-CHEEKS? Why do we need to know that? WHY? And why the scars? Is there a reason for this? ...I probably DON'T want to know why he has scars on his ass...] His skin tone is unusual in a way that it changes colors with his mood. [It's like a mood ring for your whole body! ...why is his skin like this? Is there a reason for it? Is there an explanation for it? Normal people don't have mood-ring skin! Oh wait, he's not SUPPOSED to be normal! He's a beautiful and unique snowflake!] He wears a black, torn up shirt that fits his body, black pants the hang about his hips with a belt to hold them up. Due to his genetics, he has one wing that is angelic-like and the other a black dragon wing, both large enough to carry his small body on the winds. [That's the weirdest way for mixed genetics to manifest that I've ever seen. o_O] He has two peircings on his small lips, four on his right ear and one on his left, as well as two on both ends of his eyebrows. He also wears a spiked choke-collar on his neck and a spiked bracelet on his right wrist. [...we have goth-punks in this MEDIEVAL FANTASY world now? Um... no? I think the only people who would wear collars are slaves, and even they don't have spikes on the collars... and spiked bracelet? Er... yeah. Wrong era, dude.] The only weapon he carries is his great sword Kalyflou, which has a jaded white handle and a blade that is 1'3". It grows in size when he yells out "Kalyflou, here my cry and come with me to battle!" [Look! It's Kalyflou the Thundercat Sword!]

Guild: Smithy
Rank: Wanderer
[At least he's not a double-master or a guildmaster?]

Personality: He is very sharp and intelligent, and scrutinizes everything that comes by him. He prefers being left alone because no one would understand him and his past. He reads all the time, the only time he isn't is when he gets into a fight and unintentionally saves a person in most cases. Instead of flying, he would rather walk because he likes to keep his speed in full capacity. He is easily annoyed when bothered and isn't the kind of person to be around when he is mad beyond human capabilities. The only other creature he talks with is his hippogryph.

Mother: Shaki - deceased
Father: Kola - deceased
Siblings: n/a
OtherFamily: they're all dead
[Holy freakin' crap, ANOTHER ORPHAN. >_< ]

Biography: He was born in Kiridia on a stormy night from a wedlock between an angel and a dragoon. After he was born, he was then taken to Dynock to be raised by his now wedded parents. When he was 59 years old, he got mad at both his parents and killed them with his bare hands. [WAAAANGST! ...plus... For a long-lived species like dragoons, 59 is equivalent to 10 years of age. A ten year old killed his parents with his bare hands? ...right.] When he calmed down, he found himself in a cave and not remembering anything. Later on he found out his parents were killed somehow and was sent to an orphanage to be raised. [...wtf. That's all I can say. Dubya. Tee. Eph.] He never got along with the other children and mostly stayed in his room reading some book. When he was 123, a smithy came along and decided to train the boy in the arts. When he was 205, he then left his master and is now traveling about. He came upon his sword when he was going through some abandoned mines and found that he was the only one able to weild it. [TEH SOOPER SPEYSHUL SWORD! ...he randomly stumbled upon it in an abandoned mine that he just happened to be going through? And he's the only one who can wield it? Riiight.] Later on, he comes upon his hippogryff friend, Kethu, when she was badly injured. He helped Kethu get better and they became friends, wondering Shadow Star together and trying to be left alone. [Hippogriffs. The nonsentient savage antisocial creatures. Mouse-and-lion situation. Right. Yeah.]

Pet_name: Kethy
Pet_species: Hippogriff
Pet_description: Looks like a hippogriff. [WTF. Okay, yeah, hippogriff = horse+bird. Now what else? What sort of horse? What sort of bird? Any distinguishing marks? Oy...] She follows him everyone and keeps him company. Even though she doesn't talk, he still talks with her. Sometimes he'll ride her if he's tired of walking and doesn't feel like flying himself.

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So... yeah. Laughable application, in other words. We ripped it apart amongst ourselves, and then one of the mods sent the player a fairly polite email asking for revisions. Here's some of the highlights.

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First and foremost, your email address. We are a PG-13 RPG, and though we do skirt that line sometimes, we really don't think your email address would be appreciated here. If you reapply with a different email for ShadowStar, that's just fine. Just not this one.

Secondly, your character. It's got a good deal of flaws, most can be fixed, but for the most part, a fresh rewrite would be nice.

Chameleon skin. Not neccesary, not explained, not really a good thing. It really holds no purpose to the character, nor is it ever explained how an angel/dragoon cross would get it.

Clothes and jewelry. I'm sorry, but "goth" isn't quite the style in SS. I don't think there are many people beyond slaves that would wear a collar like that, nor are there many styles in the forms of "spikey." I could probably carry over the whole "fluffy white angel wing and dark black dragoon bat wing" into this section as well. Nice try, but maybe a look into the ShadowStar cultural tidbits could be handy.

The sword. I'm more amused than anything at the sword, as were most of the other mods. The Thundercats would be proud. First of all, finding it in an abandoned mine and 'only he can use it' somehow...not kosher. The growing when called? No offense, but that's just laughable.

Super-speed. "Quicker than anything else ever seen"? Oh, heavens no. That's just simply overpowered.

All in all, we cannot accept this character. There were too many problems with it, which I've pointed out. If you'd like to retry with a fresh one, you're more than welcome to. We hope to hear from you again, hopefully with a different email address.

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Not impolite, right? Well, apparently someone took offense... to be specific, CyberSlut. Here's her response (uncut for your amusement):

Alright, I have only one thing I have to say about your stupid-ass site is that you guys suck ass! I am the greatest role player there is and you shoot me down because my character doesn't meet your fucking rules and my screen name is not "PG-13". Well fuck you ass-wipes! I didn't even like your idiotic group anyways, I just took pity on you because I felt it my duty to enlighten the role-playing world in how to truly role-play.

Well too fucking bad for you! I have other more important priorities to take care of then to diddle-daddle with your bitching role-play.

Oh noes! We rejected the "greatest roleplayer there is"! *snickers* Dear gawd...