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I Want Them Both - Chapter 9
Holy cow, chapter 9! I think this is the longest chapter ever.... I hope you'll enjoy all the lovey smutness in here.

Title: I Want Them Both
Author: Me, Fathoms_deep
Rating: R
Date Written: Saturday, August 13, 2005
Warnings: Sex, Threesome, etc

Summary: RikuxSoraxTidus. Sora has finally won Riku's heart... but he craves someone else. Someone who spends almost as much time with him as Riku does. But can he convince Riku to let them share him?

* * * * *
Chapter 9

Once again the pair trained. Only this time they agreed they ought to train very hard, and start carrying their real swords with them. It wasn't like they did not trust Riku - they merely trusted that he'd kill them both if given the chance. Sora and Tidus fought, trained hard... they actually meant to hurt each other, if only to raise their tolerance to real pain. In truth, they trained recklessly, fearfully. They knew if they didn't give it their all, then they would not be so prepared against Riku, who was known for his absolute cruelty in battle... even in a good mood.

It was as if he enjoyed hurting his opponents. The mirth he showed was something close to sinister. He only apologized to Sora.

Kairi and Selphie watched them fighting from a distance. Selphie only had one thing to say, "I wonder what's got them so energetic today? They're gonna do themselves an injury!"

Kairi kept her mouth shut, looking off toward their home island, where Riku was surely to be. She'd not seen his boat in the lagoon all day.

When the sun was setting, Sora flopped down onto the ground, exhausted. Tidus did the same, next to him, while Kairi and Selphie went about their girly business. The two young men gave each other a nervous glance. Their fight with Riku was only two days away... and on the third day, right at sunrise, they were expected to be on the west side of the island in the darkness to fight.

Tidus became despondent. His stomach growled but he couldn't have eaten anything unless Sora fed it to him. He felt his world was poisoned... that he was cursed. Sora reached to brush his hair out of his face, his fingers barely feather-brushing his cheek.

"We're not ready... I don't know if we will be." Tidus sighed heavily. "Well! We'll just have to train harder, won't we?"

"Train harder than today? Is that even possible?" Sora blew out his air with a harsh laugh. "Man! I'm so sore... I think I'm gonna go bathe in some of mom's special oils. That stuff always does the trick." The island was absolutely empty now. Kairi and Selphie were already rowing in their seperate boats to the other, distant shore.

Tidus leaned his back against a tree. His eyes were half-closed, his shirt half-torn off from his overenthused effort to get cool. Sora sprawled in the sand beside him, their bodies touching but neither of them minding that little heat that proved too sentimental to end.

"Tidus?" Sora murmured, resting his cheek against his arm. "I'm scared to go home... I don't want to see Riku because we live on the same street... you know?"

"Yeah?"

"Can I stay at your house?"

"You don't want to stay at my house right now!" Tidus said quickly and kindly. "I really doubt that's a good idea. And I don't want to run into Riku either..." He sighed. "We could just stay here."

Sora's face lit up. He squirmed and rolled over, so that half of his body was laying on Tidus's long, muscular legs. "Hey! That's an awesome idea!"

"Is it?" Tidus blinked, opening his eyes, sitting up and bending forward a little as he peeled off his vest and shirt and laid them aside. "I need a shower, though..." He pouted, his eyes glittering faint blue.

"We've got the fresh water pool. Hell!! It'll wash away clean. Won't it?" The little brunette slowly sat up and stretched, his naked tummy bubbling with muscles until he stood up. "Well, if you don't want to use it, I will."

"I--" Tidus began angrily, but there was Sora, walking off, stripping off his clothes as he went, and stepped naked into the spray of the water. The blonde blushed, jerking his eyes away as he stood, scratching his stomach at the dried sweat. He licked his lips, tasted salt, and purred softly in the coldness of the dying sunlight. He heard Sora singing loudly some song or another. He smiled. He was making up the words to another song, Tidus realized.

Sora emerged, grabbing his pants and pulling them on after dousing them to be suitably damp and relatively clean. Tidus got up to go in himself, but Sora held onto his arm as he passed. He pulled his face close, and pressed his cheek to his. It wasn't a kiss, but Tidus's heart skipped when he thought for a moment Sora would kiss him. He was frozen in place, pressing his naked chest against Sora's, then he turned his face very slowly, kissing into his neck.

Sora sighed. A spasm of motion made him hug Tidus closely. He clung loosely to his arms, eyes half-closed, sighing heavily. Tidus dropped his pensive eyes to the grass beneath their feet, while he kissed and comforted Sora. He owed him that much.

Finally, "What's wrong?"

Sora shrugged. "...Riku hates me." He looked up at him, shaking. "I don't want him to hate me. I mean... I know he can get mad... but I don't think he's ever hated me before. I can't stay here."

"Talk to him after the match," Tidus pleaded. "I don't want to talk to him again. I don't even want to see his face!" His voice raised itself an octave as he began to raise its volume. No, he would not see Riku's face, lest he begin to have doubts about their match. Tidus rarely had time to digest this feeling when Sora said,

"But you like him... don't you?"

"No, I don't like him!" Tidus spat quickly. "I hate him, I--" He hit a wall. It was in Sora's face. The way he looked at him, begging for a different answer. He already saw fresh tears in the boy's face. He looked so young again... like when he'd confided in Tidus so many times before about how much he needed Riku to love him. How much he wished someone would understand as much as Tidus did.

Tidus became frustrated. But he was hardly in a position to pull away. Sora was clinging ever more tightly to his arms, almost pinching his skin. He wanted another answer... a lie. Tidus shook his head. "...C'mon, you know... he *raped* me, damn it. He took somethin' away from me... somethin' he knew I wanted--" He struggled, as he hit upon something else. Yeah... he'd wanted to spend his first night with another guy with no one else but Sora. Sora would have been honored to know that now... but really, much as Sora claimed to partake in Tidus's affection, he loved Riku as well. How the hell did you work around something like that?

"I didn't want my first 'guy' to be ... Riku... and if I did, I didn't want it like that." Tidus pressed Sora against him, before slowly, reluctantly, letting him go. "I can't forgive him for that. It's wrong... what he did was wrong."

"I know it was wrong!" Sora replied quickly. "I don't want you to go around thinking I applaud that or anything. He's just... He's not been himself. And I haven't been myself. And I've been thinking about you and... and how unfair it was."

Yes... very unfair. The pair of them had yearned for each other for as long as they could remember, but never really looked at their tightly woven relationship from another angle. What Sora had thought was love and devotion from Riku had turned into something... monstrous. The possessive way in which he looked at him, the way he called every night, aching to be spoken to, aching to have him come over.

Sora shuddered. Riku... scared him, lately. Now... more than ever. "...We have to defeat him."

"Why? Why is that suddenly so important?"

"If we don't... he'll think he can beat us whenever he wants. In his mind, we'll be... his slaves. I don't want him to beat us. I don't know - it's not making any sense, is it?"

"I know what you mean," Tidus agreed. "And I agree - we gotta beat Riku if he's to leave us alone."

* * * * *

The two young men curled up in the darkness... and when it became obvious that neither one of them could sleep, Sora very gently convinced Tidus that they make love. Tidus was not so easily coerced, but, in spite of the impression Riku had made on love-making, agreed. Sora was absolutely nothing like Riku at all. He was gentle and meaningful, absolutely willing to do and not do anything Tidus wanted. He was precise, patient, fun-loving, affectionate. Tidus never thought a lover had made him feel so peaceful and so invigorated before.

The next morning they practiced, until Tidus and Sora went home with their collected cash to buy some food, and returned to the island... always on the look-out for Riku. Wakka, Selphie and Kairi came and went on the island, not disturbing them as they raced each other and fought each other up and down the island. Their battles often were so disruptive that Kairi complained loudly and Wakka had to throw his ball at them to disrupt their titanic, apocalyptic battle with a blow to the head.

It seemed Riku was no longer interested in coming to the island for two days. Even when the second night followed and Riku and Sora agreed that it would be better to sleep at Sora's house. Sora's mother was more than happy to accomodate Tidus, but she seemed concerned that her son didn't patch things up with Riku, who had stopped by twice... and she wasn't at all upset that he had stayed out the previous night, after wheedling out of him what he'd been doing to keep him out all damn night.

Tidus blushed at Sora's blatant honesty. Sora's mother berated him again, lamented about his poor skills with his boyfriends, before finally putting the matter at rest with a big, hearty dinner and letting the two boys alone in Sora's room.

So the remaining hours had passed... until the fateful morning. It dawned upon them like a horrible memory. A story they didn't wish to share until the moment of the telling, hoping perhaps the details would reveal themselves as they went.

* * * * *
In the tangled grove outside of Sora's house, where the trees formed a maze of shadows and darkness pooled in one horrific place that sometimes made Sora a little uncomfortable to go outside, a pair of moonshine eyes found themselves locked to the window of Sora's window, where in the dark he saw two figures, not one, glide across the glass and then disappear where they knew Sora's bed to be.

The emenating rage, the all-searing fire of hatred and shock raped the inside's of the watcher's mind. Riku hardly knew what to do with himself then. He rocked back on his heels and faded from view, shunning the light. Oh, god, how the light hurt his eyes these days. He couldn't bare to be outside anymore. He couldn't bare to be in the warmth of it, the sickening heat and sweat that it caused against his skin.

Oh, if he could just live in this cool darkness forever... Sora couldn't hurt him from here. Sora apparently didn't care how much pain he had caused by taking Tidus and ravaging his pathetic body until he cried. Sora didn't care about anything except his own dull-witted happiness, at whatever snatches of bliss he could obtain by sleeping with the next pretty boy he laid eyes on.

No. No, that isn't true.

That part of him quailed when he screamed inwardly, If he loved me, he wouldn't have done this. It's his fault. He brought this misery onto himself, the sniveling, idiot boy in a man's body. I don't care how much he regrets what he's done... it'll never be enough. NEVER.