Suicidal Tendencies

Proceed With Caution

Attempted Suicides
Libra Libations Vampyreskiss Terez Infinite October Mcleod Law

Past Attempts

Aug. 30th, 2005 @ 08:12 pm MOVING

Ok kids, I'm changing blog sites, it's not that I don't like livejournal, but I can HTML customize on this one, so....

UPDATE YOUR LINKS, AND YOUR BOOKMARKS!!!!!!!!

http://suicidaltendencies.bloghorn.com

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Aug. 21st, 2005 @ 10:35 am Left on Hampton

I Feel:

groggy
Listen To This: The Limbo Song

Good morning everyone, I'm not used to bloging in the morning, so this might prove to be good and random but, Terez is asleep and I'm bored so we're gonna give this a shot anyway.

STL was awesome this weekend, as usual.

Started Friday when Libra Libations and I came over for a poker tournament at Infinite October 's house. Had a really good time at the game, but it's always a good time when I get the chance to spend time with Infinite October, we've been friends since shortly after we were sperm, but since high school, we went to different schools and live in different areas so when we get a chance to get together it's always nice. Didn't fair to bad at the game either, if you want to know the exact results click the link above. Got to spend time with 'T' (his girl friend) for the first time as well, I had met her before but only for a very brief time at another friend's wedding.

After the game, Libra Libations and I met Terez at Growlers after she got off of work. I really liked this bar. It's a beer bar, you go in just like you were going to go to a restaurant. Walk in, sit at the table and grab a menu, only there isn't any food on the menu just beer. They have over 131 beers there, it was awesome, except no Busch to Terez's disappointment, it didn't really bother me that much. Also, they have cards that you can get where they punch holes in it for every different beer you try. After you have completed the card you get a metal "growler" that's used only for you, after completing five cards you get your name on a plaque on the wall. If I get transfered to STL, I have a new goal.

Saturday was cool too, start the morning with some IHOP and then off to the Anheuser-Busch Brewery for a tour. The tour was really cool, the next time you get a chance to come to STL you should do this if you get the chance. It's free and you get free beer at then end of the tour, you can't go wrong. Plus, the tour itself is really interesting, I didn't realize how large of an operation it really was, it covers several city blocks. I took a couple pictures with my phone, I'll try to post them when I get home.

"Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza."

-Dave Barry

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Aug. 17th, 2005 @ 11:04 pm (no subject)

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Aug. 16th, 2005 @ 10:38 pm Does a Bird Dog Fly South For The Winter??

So I'm at work today, and on my way out of the back room, a bald man asked me where he could find the rugs....I didn't find it amusing at the time, but after thinking about it, it's kinda funny.. I should have asked him which kind...There that's my story for today. Other than that I got nothing, had a good weekend got placed in front of the firing squad at Terez's family reunion, it wasn't that bad but still.

Anyway, it's almost my bed time.

God these updates suck....lol

"When your lying in the dark, are you afraid to die or be forgotten?"

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Aug. 10th, 2005 @ 07:36 pm Ma-nam-a-nah

I Feel:

sleepy
Listen To This: Crossfade - Colors

Ahhhhhhh, the update, damn it, I have nothing to say.

On the news today a kid killed himself by strangling him self with a rope....WTF you know, yeah I was in school and I remember when some of the kids choked themselves for pleasure, but to do it with a rope... and the ignorant mother "I just thought he was smoking marijuana." Nope sorry honey, you have one of those fucked up kids that likes to strangle himself for pleasure. But, what's sad is apparently this is common it's like 13 for the year...you can read the story on CNN.com if your that interested. It's the top story for today, who gives a shit about the shuttle, it didn't explode so it's not news anymore.

But I don't want to write about that,

Today the line was busy and I was running late for a break, so I decided to go to where they sell cigs, and then take them to another register where the line wasn't so large. Someone bitched about it, not that I went to the register where the line was small with an item, but that I removed cigs from the "designated area." How boring is your life if your worried where the hell I buy cigs at?

But I don't want to write about that either,

I finally went grocery shopping the yesterday. For those of you that know me, that's a milestone for me...

Eh, again not a good conversation,

I've worked over 36 hours in 3 days, I'm tired.....

Eh,

Oh, well, I'm not writing very well tonight am I, so instead, I'm going to go to mom's and get something to eat then come home and watch Season 1 of the Muppet Show........I'm hoping to update better in the near future.

"Those who abandon their dreams discourage those who don't."

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Aug. 4th, 2005 @ 06:37 pm I Like Dogs

I Feel:

anxious
Listen To This: Alkaline Trio - Time to Waste

Ok Kids, ready to take a conflict personality test. It's actually very interesting, it's called the TKI Test, it's used to determine how people deal with conflict, a lot of businesses use it. Be sure not to look forward because it will taint your answers if you know how it's scored. Besides this is just for you anyway, if you cheat than your not really doing yourself any good. Post a Comment with your score if you want to, I'm curious how you did. I got a 6 across the board which puts me at accommodating. You'll see...It only takes about 10min to do, and that's if your slow.

TKI PROFILE

Ok first you will need to goto this page. Write down your answers on a piece of paper, or note pad, you'll have to have them in order.

Then score your self on the second. Be sure to remember the scores from this page as well.

Then you can find out what it all means on the third part.

Here is a more detailed page that explains it better....

TKI

Just something interesting I thought you'd all enjoy...

"The direct use of force is such a poor solution to any problem, it is generally employed only by small children, large nations and unintelligent people."

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Aug. 1st, 2005 @ 07:28 pm King of the Quickie

I Feel:

happy
Listen To This: Cold Play - Speed of Sound

Good afternoon kids, so I was thinking this morning on my way to work and realized that most people only work about 20% of a year. Let me show you...

First of all, lets say you only work 40 hours a week for 51 weeks a year, and a weeks vacation...
8 * 5 = 40 which is about %33 of a day.
40 * 51 = 2040
2040 / 24 = 85
85/365 ~ .23

So out of this we get 85 days a year or %23.... When you break it down it's not really that bad. If you only work part time, it's half that, at 20 hours, and if you don't work that much, well, you get the idea. It doesn't really sound that bad this way does it. I mean, if I asked you to do something for me and I told you I only expected you to get %20 of it done, you could do that couldn't you?

Now lets say you work full time for 45 years....That's putting you working full time at 20 and retiring at 65... and lets say an average life ends at 80

85 * 45 = 3825 days
3825 / 365 ~ 10 years
80 * 365 = 29200
3825 / 29200 ~ .13 or 13%

13 % of your life is spent working, that's really not much at all, if you are a bum and never go full time it's only %6...13 percent, that's nothing on the grand scale. So therefor, I pose the question... Why does everyone bitch about it so much...I mean yeah, some people really like their job, I'm one of those people, but I look forward to days off as well as most of you I'm sure. But, it's only 10 years, or %13 actual hours worked. Now what's amazing, lets say you end your life or work career at 40k, some make more or less, but this will work for my purposes...

40,000 * 45 = $1,800,000 by only working %13 of your life...Imagine if you worked %50...

And here is my second question, where does all the money go, If I handed you almost 2 million dollars, and you didn't spend it recklessly, it would probably last you the rest of your life....Yet at 40k you make almost that much, but in this day in age 40k is not loaded, it's actually barely middle class.

I don't know, just my thought of today......The weekend was good, didn't accomplish much though, deep cleaned my truck for the first time in 3+ years, it really needed it, looks good now though. Other than Terez and I just kinda chilled for the most part, it was kinda nice for a change. Then Sunday, went to Church with my mom, and back to dinner at her parents house. I wasn't as nervous this time as I was last time, so that's a good thing, well I'm going to get a pizza and watch a movie, G-Night kids.

"True love does not worry about the distance between, for the heart and soul travels through one's words."

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Jul. 28th, 2005 @ 07:31 pm Dust in the Wind

I Feel:

optimistic
Listen To This: Jessica Simpson & Willie Nelson - These Boots (THE VIDEO)

Sorry I haven't had much of a chance to update in a while, it's been a really busy week, well that and I don't really have anything to write about.

Actually, I was just talking to a friend of mine the other day, I have nothing to really bitch about. I mean, for me right now anyway, life's not that bad and I'm sure none of you want to hear about that. I know I wouldn't. So, comming up with new and fresh material is getting hard. I'm sure I can come up with something, I just have to make more of an effort now...

This is kinda cool... 20 Questions

I got a kick out of it. I guessed Kyptronite and it guessed it..dammit..

So anyway, that's it for now, I have to go to my mothers house and do some laundry, I'll try to post something interesting later.

"Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction."

"I won’t suffer, be broken
Get tired, or wasted
Surrender to nothing
I'll give up what I
Started
And stop this
From end to beginning
A new day is coming
And I am finally free"

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Jul. 24th, 2005 @ 08:39 pm Nothing A Couple ... Dozen Orgasms Can't Fix

I Feel:

hungry
Listen To This: Kansas - Dust In The Wind

Good evening kids, damn it's hot outside, I hope all of spent time indoors this weekend.

My air broke this weekend while I was in STL. My fish tanks got up to 88deg. Anything over 82 can be harmful. Luckily nothing happened, just a lot of algae growth. The house however didn't get so lucky, I came in this afternoon and the house was sitting about 90...SUCKED. Then about 7 there came a knock at the door. No one knocks at the door, most of my friends know to just come in. Anyway, it was the AC repair man. Apparently he lives close to here and decided since it was so hot he'd check out the problem. I thought that was nice of him. It was the fan, for some reason my outdoor unit has a fan with two settings, a low and a high, it wouldn't kick into the high setting causing the compressor to overheat and kick it self off. He didn't have the board to replace it. He said he could get one tomorrow, for the time being I asked him if I could hot wire it. Therefore, I now have a hot-wired air conditioner.

So, so you think you can tell Heaven from Hell,
blue skies from pain.
Can you tell a green field from a cold steel rail?
A smile from a veil?
Do you think you can tell?
And did they get you to trade your heroes for ghosts?
Hot ashes for trees?
Hot air for a cool breeze?
Cold comfort for change?
And did you exchange a walk on part in the war for a lead role in a cage?
How I wish, how I wish you were here.
We're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl, year after year,
Running over the same old ground.
What have you found? The same old fears.
Wish you were here.

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Jul. 21st, 2005 @ 10:31 pm HAPPY B-DAY BRIAN

HAPPY B-DAY BRYAN!!!

A friend of mine gave me this link the other day. This is weird as hell.....

Rubber Johnny

Thanks Howie..

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Jul. 19th, 2005 @ 11:46 pm CONGRATULATIONS

CONGRATULATIONS TO HOWIE AND KRISTY !!!!! I truly wish both of you the best.

Love feels no burden,
thinks nothing of trouble,
attempts what is above its strength,
pleads no excuse of impossibility...
It is therefore able to undertake all things,
and it completes many things,
and warrants them to take effect,
where he who does not love would faint and lie down.
Love is watchful and sleeping, slumbereth not.
Though weary, it is not tired;
though pressed, it is not straitened;
though alarmed, it is not confounded...

- Thomas A. Kempis -

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Jul. 19th, 2005 @ 08:45 pm Fuckin Sensitive People

I Feel:

annoyed
Listen To This: ACDC - Big Balls

Why is exactly that the world is sensitive to just about everything? I'm at work and in a rush I grabbed my "Miller Lite" lanyard, one of the employees, not MGMT, just a regular employee, said something about to my superior. WTF, for those of you that don't know, WAL-MART SELLS BEER! It's not like I was wearing a shit that says "HEY GET FUCKED UP ALL THE TIME." I have a feeling who did it, it's a woman that was sitting in the smoking room bitching because she didn't get the soda she wanted and I guess is just ruined her day to get a Coke Zero, instead of a Diet Coke. She saw my lanyard and bolted for the door, at the time I assumed she was just late from comming off a break or a lunch, but now I'm not so sure. The other MGMT didn't tell me that I didn't have to wear something else, but that we were being watched by the underlings...my words....Which brings me to my next rant....

Why do broke, busted, pathetic, stupid, disabled, or just nasty, people bitch the most. Do they think the world owes them something. NEWS FLASH...... If you don't like your life the way it is then do something about it. Growing up in school, my dad being a teacher, I always got "Hey rich kid come here," of course they just wanted me to give them a couple of bucks for lunch or something of that nature. When I explained that I didn't have it, they got pissed, like it was my obligation to fucking provide for them. And BTW, teachers don't make that much money, just in case you catch your kids doing this some day. Anyway, the world doesn't owe you a damn thing. Growing up, most people have a chance to choose what they want to do or how they live their life, even though sometimes it might not be much of a choice, if you were one of those people and decided to drink, or do drugs to often instead of paying attention to you school work, it's your own goddam fault, make my cheese burger and be fucking happy about it.

I swear to God, and if any of you have worked with the general public or for the general public you can vogue for this, the more poor a family is the more they like to bitch about their service. Granted, I am singling out a specific group of people, but to me it just seems that...rich people bitch, and poor people bitch. Mostly about different things, poor people bitch about people and prices, where the rich bitch mostly about the service not being up to their standards. The middle class (proudly yours truely) people work for a living and they realize that SHIT HAPPENS, it's not the messengers fault that the computers went down, or the last goddamn hotdog was just taken by an other asshole customer. DEAL WITH IT!!!!

Jesus, what got into me there. That was my evil brother Nosaj, he likes to bitch alot. Anyway, not much going on in my life. Had to work a 16 today, and maybe tomorrow, good times, but hey, I really do like my job so I can't bitch to much.

Later

"The greatest discovery of my generation is that man can alter his life simply by altering his attitude of mind."

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Jul. 17th, 2005 @ 10:08 pm Smells Like Sex In Here

I Feel:

hot
Listen To This: Guns & Roses - Patience

Another good weekend in SI, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory was good, you should go and see it. It was just nice to have a couple of days off, the motivation tank was getting low.

I went to mow my yard this afternoon and things didn't go quite as I had planned. So, I make 3 passes with the mower, and it quits working, the spring that holds the governor in place broke, and it won't stay running. Being Sunday, and 6pm at that, there wasn't much open to fix the mower with, so now I have a 1/4 mowed lawn, looks kind of goofy. Then, I find that my glands are swelling on my face, the last time this happened I had to have it lanced, (ouch).

I am now living by myself again, my roommate decided he was going to go back to his wife, probably a good thing in the long run. I do wish the both of them good luck. It's kinda funny, it really awkward having someone else in the house, but I got used to it. I'm not really lonely, the house just seems empty, of course I'm not chasing a 4 year old around the room, not that I'm complaining. Jordan is cool for a kid though, he's all about the Ninja Turtles .

Ok, well, it's my bed time, I'll update in the next couple of days, with hopefully a better story. Good Night.

"The most important things are the hardest to say, because words diminish them."

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Jul. 15th, 2005 @ 06:20 pm Life is a Competition

I Feel:

annoyed
Listen To This: Eagles - Get Over It

Cool Website - SotallyTober.com

BLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I have nothing to say.

"Hatred it the coward's revenge for being intimidated."

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Jul. 14th, 2005 @ 11:36 pm Upgraded to Topic

I Feel:

worried
Listen To This: John Mellencamp - Pink Houses

So, ok, I'm driving home from work tonight and right by the Sesser exit, there is a place where the land makes kinda of a peninsula in rend lake, you can see this spot from the interstate, but you couldn't get to it from there unless you walked through the water. Anyway, I'm driving home from work and I see two people on the edge of the land, there are trees in front of them and an open view from the interstate behind them. There was a towell down, so I thought awwww, a guy and his girl are having a pick nick on the water front, how sweet. Then as approaching them a little closer, about 30feet, I realize that there not having a pick nick at all, there both naked, she is on her hands and knees, and there having sex doggy style. It was like watching a wreck, you don't want to look but you have to, not to mention, this chick was hot and the way they were positioned you could see all of her and not much of him at all. Officially the weirdest thing I've seen while driving. Thought I'd share that with you. I wish I'd had a camera, I'd post it for those of you would think I'm good enough to make this up.

Words to Live By - Advice for the "average" person.

I do not choose to be a common person. It is my right to be uncommon -- if I can.

I seek opportunity -- not security.

I do not wish to be kept citizen, humbled and dulled by having the state look after me. I want to take the calculated risk, to dream and to build, to fail and to succeed.

I refuse to barter incentive for a dole; I prefer the challenges of life to the guaranteed existence: the thrill of fulfillment to the stale calm of Utopia.

I will not trade my freedom for beneficence nor my dignity for a handout.

I will never cower before any earthly master nor bend to any threat.

It is my heritage to stand erect, proud and unafraid: to think and act for myself, to enjoy the benefit of my creations and to face the world boldly and say: this, with God's help I have done.

"If I had a hammer, I'd build a house for two,
And if I had a sailing ship, I'd take a trip with you.
If I had a poets hand, I'd write a verse for thee,
And if I had a painters touch, On canvas you would be.
But I don't have a hammer,
And I don't have a ship.
So I can't build a house,
And we can't take a trip.
And I'll never be a poet,
Nor have the painters grace.
So I'll never write you're verse,
Nor immortalize your face."

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Jul. 12th, 2005 @ 11:26 pm No Loop For You

I Feel:

sleepy
Listen To This: Foo Fighters - The Best of You

So, it's still raining in good ole Southern Illinois, I know I promised you an entertaining blog tonight, but I gots nothin.

Had a secret rendezvous at the gas mart with Howie bringing some copies of pictures taken in KY. Hopefully I'll get those scanned and posted soon.

Found out my nephew speaks Spanish, that's kinda cool. Apparently "Dora the Explorer," is actually good for kids to watch. I'll tell you what when a four year old says "HOLA Uncle Jason, it's good to see you. Hola means HI," it's cute.

Things are going well at work, I signed up for my benefits today, I really didn't understand what most of it meant ( I hate insurance companies ) but hey, if I die one of you gets money, I'm not gonna say who for fear of my personal health...j/k

Here's an interesting sight for those of you that are bored.... YOU MUST CHOOSE
Are you the majority?

Denise my old boss called me today and told me how the store was running, she said she misses me and needs my help with a couple of things. That's awesome, it's good to be missed, even if it costs you more work.

Ok, well that's enough unstructured ramblings for tonight, tata for now.

"The face is the mirror of the mind, and eyes without speaking confess the secrets of the heart."

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Jul. 11th, 2005 @ 10:55 pm Extreme Pillow Talk

I Feel:

writers block
Listen To This: Breaking Benjamin - Rain

Well, its been a while since I've had a chance to update, well that's not really true, I've just not had anything to say. Work is cool, no problems there, had a good weekend in STL, um yeah. My mom's boyfriend's kid turned 16 Sunday, went to a family party over there, played with the grandkids in the pool mostly. Then Jacob and George showed me some trails they made earlier in the day. That's about it, a good time but nothing really to write about. I'll try to work up a bitch so I can post something interesting...

[edited for personal information not shared in the internet]

"I've learned that good-byes will always hurt, pictures never replace having been there, memories good or bad will bring tears, and words can never replace feeling. You didn't have to build my dreams...I would have given into you anyway."

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Jul. 4th, 2005 @ 10:56 pm Still Setting The Standard

I Feel:

accomplished
Listen To This: Guns & Roses - Get In The Ring

So, a blog entry is well over due, but it had been a busy week. So, lets see what's new.

I bought a sand sifting starfish, it's actually cool, you can't see it most of the time unless you're feeding the fish in the tank then it (quickly) jumps up from the bottom and scurries across to find food. That's why its named "Sukiyaki the Ninja Starfish Who comes in the Cover of Darkness." Don't blame me, I wanted to call it Patrick.

Went to the big C'pher fireworks display tonight, had a good time and it gave me a chance to take my mind off of a few things. Nothing bad, just different. The show was good, they actually spent a lot of money on it this year, 6500 was the total spent some one said. That's more than Rend Lake spent, their show sucked.

The following quote is one of my favorites because it can be applied to a lot of situations, and can be used in the positive or negative.

"In cases where people are absent from one another, the absence is like the wind to a flame : it extinguishes the weak and feeds the strong. Therefore if your weak you become ashes, and if your strong the fire grows even larger."

Just thought I'd share that with everyone.

Well I'm going to bed, but before I go, have any of you ever noticed how easy it's easy to get used to something in a short time?

Your VERY VERY Welcome. The view from the top is awesome.

"Why do you look at me when you hate me
Why should I look at you when you make me hate you to
I sense a smell of retribution in the air
I don't even understand why the fuck you even care
And I don't need your jealousy
Why drag me down in your misery
And when you stare don't you think I feel it
But I'm gonna deal it back to you in spades
When I'm havin' fun ya know I can't conceal it
'Cause I know you'd never cut it in my game."

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Jul. 1st, 2005 @ 07:20 pm Penguins

I Feel:

content
Listen To This: TISM - Everyone Has Had More Sex Than Me

So, the first week of work is over and ending on a 3 day weekend. I have a roommate now, It's kind of weird living with someone, I'm not saying I don't like it, but it's different living with someone after being by myself for almost a year now. On the upside of it all, there's food in the house for first time in a year, I'm serious. Actually, I have no bitches about life right now.......... I'm not sure how do deal with it, it's like I'm waiting for the other foot to drop, but nothing yet. Anyway, I'm sure none of you want to hear about that......

So, I'm officially the Assistant Manager of Wal-Mart Inc,. Cool huh..... I have no clue as to what that means for now, but I'm sure they'll explain it to me eventually....But for now, it's fun getting "Wal-Martized," which means myself and two others haft two weeks to become familiar with the store before the other trainees come in.

I went to McDonalds on my lunch break today. Have any of you been to the one in Mt. Vernon, next to the truck stop. If not, they have a Grey Hound bus station there. So anyway, as I'm sitting eating 3 buses block my truck in, I didn't think much of it just then, but as I was leaving they were still there. I only had 15min to get back to work!!!! I went to the station and asked the Manager if he would mind moving the bus so I could get my truck out. We had a long conversation and as I was getting irked I threatened to back the bus up myself because the keys were in it, and it was running........The man told me to find a driver and he should take care of it... NO!!!!! The driver was eating at mcdonalds and he told me "I'm on a lunch break, I'll move it when I'm done.......30min..." So, I went outside and drove my truck over the curb, up the hill, and into the gas station next to the building... It worked but most of the people looked at me funny, and there were a lot of people being the first of the month and a holiday weekend...

Anyway, that's it for now, I think I'm going to the Pasta House... Later.

"If Columbus had turned back, no one would have blamed him. Of coures, no one would have remembered him either."

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Jun. 29th, 2005 @ 07:08 pm Career

I Feel:

hot
Listen To This: Ozzy - Mississippi Queen Cover

Sorry I haven't be updating, it's been a busy week. Started the new job Monday, I love it. Come to find out I'm higher in the company than I had originally thought. (awesome) But, yeah, I've been really busy, I have to be there at 8, which puts me up at 5:30, it takes a little while to get used to. But I'm not complaining, between having a dinner cooked and interesting conversations about time travel, it's definitely been a good week. I'll update more when I get a chance, get some shit done before I have to goto bed....
BTW, I'm pretty sure that when all of were sleeping they moved the earth closer to the sun. It's fucking hot outside. 99deg today.....that's just dumb.

"The only place where success comes before work is in the dictionary."

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Suicidal Tendencies

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