| bored... |
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| 07:13pm 14/06/2003 |
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I need something interesting to happen. Something troubling and amusing at the same time. I hate her.
I'll think of something. I always do. |
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| Hn. |
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| 12:10am 24/03/2003 |
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mood:  amused
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Wrote a letter. Called the school.
Popcorn anyone? |
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| 08:59pm 21/03/2003 |
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mood: amused
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Game over, Kyou-kun.
Hn. |
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| 04:02pm 03/02/2003 |
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Heh. He should be here in a half an hour or so. Can't wait until the games begin. |
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| 12:38am 02/02/2003 |
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Hm...
The neko is visiting tomorrow. I have words to exchange with him... |
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| 08:23pm 28/01/2003 |
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Hm....it is about time our little kitty paid me a visit... |
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| 05:53pm 03/01/2003 |
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I was so looking foward to dear Yuki being there. I suppose not. That angered me, so I went to sulk in my room. Then I felt ill because the thought of Yuki and her being near each other makes me disgusted.
I hate the way they both have those sickenly happy smiles on their faces when they're together, it makes me just want to tear them both apart. More then tear them apart...
...I just want to make them suffer. |
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Read 3 - Post |
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| 11:01pm 19/12/2002 |
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She got what she deserved. Who does she think she is. She's lucky her precious little Yuki and Hatori rescued her. T'was a little taste, little one..
...a little taste. |
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| 08:18pm 17/12/2002 |
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It's almost Christmas. The snow makes me think of little Yuki. I wonder if I should pay him a visit, wouldn't that be a nice gift. Christmas is not one of my favorite times of the year, then again, I never have favorite times in the year.
I've been thinking lately, musing about..the girl. I wonder what Yuki would do if I played with her a bit. It'd certainly be fun, no doubt. Who does that worthless peice of scum think she is? Tearing around our property, barging into the family secrets. The things I'd like to do to punish her...
The more I think about her, the more I get angry. I need to break something...preferably that 'delicate little flower'. Delicate. I'll show her how delicate she is.
Forget this. I'm off to break something. Big. Not her...not yet. |
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| Confuzzled |
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| 09:06pm 03/12/2002 |
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I'm back home!
Ok, so I've been home since Saturday night, but a lot of things have been going on and it's been hard to find time to get to my journal and other such things.
But ... there's no back button to my friends page now! ;_; So I have no idea what's been going on in the storyline since I've been gone, therefore I really don't know what to write about. I espically don't know what you guys had Akito and Shigure do while I was gone ... I'm so confused. x_x
Anyone care to fill me in? (In detail ... cuz I don't want to post something and then have someone come up and say "Uhm ... well, that person is doing so-and-so and such-and such so you can't write that")
~ Jibby (aka ![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) tearslikerain) |
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Read 2 - Post |
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| Halloween |
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| 04:43am 31/10/2002 |
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mood: calm
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It's Halloween.
I've never really liked Halloween. I don't care to partake in the family gatherings, or greet the trick-or-treaters that come knocking at our gate, but I do feel some comfort in this holiday. It's the day to celebrate death, after all.
Everyone else has left for Ayame's house (since he's holding a party there), but Jibrille stayed behind to "watch over me", and at the moment is sitting in the doorway with the door open, her legs outstretched to the porch beyond. The night is crisp and cold, but I don't mind it. It was getting a bit stuffy in here ...
I'm glad to have some peace, though. Everyone's been rushing around lately to get ready for the festivities.
I feel ... calm ... when it's just Jibrille and I at the house. Maybe it's because Hatori's not here watching over me like a hawk. Though Jibrille does what needs to be done to take care of me (tend to my medicine, meals, etc), she doesn't do it in the same way that Hatori does. She seems to know when to talk to me and when to stay away.
Well, I hope everyone's having fun ... espically Kyou ... because he won't be having fun for much longer. *smirks* |
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| 04:19am 05/10/2002 |
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mood:  angry
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Jibrille is missing. She's been missing for quite awhile now ...
If Hatori doesn't find her and bring her back soon ... *claws into armrest and grinds his teeth* |
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| Yet another new assistant |
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| 12:20am 04/10/2002 |
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mood: annoyed
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Hatori has hired a new assistant other than Jibrille. I'm not amused by this ... the house is becoming too cluttered with people. Having Jibrille here, I can deal with that ... but this Hotaru girl ... ugh, there's something about her that just doesn't appeal to me.
Jibrille seems to be comfortable around her, though. She seems less tense and seems to have a bit of weight from her shoulders. It's probably because she gets so many massages from that girl. Ugh ... I don't see how she can let her touch her long enough for that sort of thing. I don't want anyone touching me for that long. If she comes near me with that intention, I'm killing her without a second thought.
Rumors have been going around ... they think I don't hear. But when they least expect it, I'll do something about it ... |
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Read 6 - Post |
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| 01:10am 30/09/2002 |
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mood:  blank
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After Hatori got Jibrille calmed down, he went for a walk. It was much too quiet, so I got up and went into Jibrille's room.
She was sleeping, but her breath was so quiet and thin that she looked like she was dead. I reached out and touched her hand, and in turn she grasped my hand and pulled it close to her. I don't think she really knew what she was doing, I think she was asleep ... but I couldn't pull my hand away from her, so I just sat down next to her bed and rested my head next to her hand.
I dozed off for a bit, and when I opened my eyes I saw Hatori at the door. He just stood there, expressionless. I don't know what he must be thinking now ... but whatever it is, he's wrong ... I just couldn't pull my hand away, that's all ...
By that time she had released my hand, and I got up and walked back to my room. |
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| 02:39pm 29/09/2002 |
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Sometimes ... I watch her go through the same things that I've gone through, and I don't know how I'm supposed to feel. Should I feel pain? Hurt? Happy that I'm not the only one living under a curse?
Before, it was just me and Hatori. Now she's here. Now I see through her the way I am, what a sight I must be. Pulling her hair, begging for mercy, begging to die already. All I can do is shut myself away in my room and cover my ears from it all, but I can still hear it, and I realize that it's not just her screaming, but I'm screaming as well.
How long is it until the end? How much longer must we take this curse, this pain? |
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| Delicate purple flowers |
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| 05:29am 19/09/2002 |
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mood: calm music: I, Parasite - Angel Dust
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Today was a very quiet day. Hatori spent the day with Ayame and Shigure, so he left the house to Jibrille and I.
We spent most of the day out on the porch. I just sat against the wall and Jibrille sprawled herself out and would lean over the edge of the porch and look at the wildflowers that grew underneath. She picked some of the little delicate purple flowers and placed them next to her. She said something about them being one of her favorite flowers and wanting to press them between waxed paper to preserve them.
She seemed tired yet somewhat jittery ... I knew that Hatori had given her an injection before he left, but I don't know what it was for. She dozed off for awhile and when she woke up she could barely open her eyes and reached out and grabbed the hem of my robe.
"I need ... something ... " she muttered.
"What?"
"I'm in pain ... " She started getting tears in her eyes. I knew what that pain was like. I got up and looked around for a bit to see if I could find what Hatori usually gives me. In the medicine room I found a little bottle filled with orange pills ... I remember Hatori giving me those before. I took one out of the bottle and got a glass of water and took them back to Jibrille.
I've never seen someone have such a grateful look on their face. Well, at least not towards me. She took the pill and gave a weak smile. "Thank you ... "
"You know, you're supposed to be the one taking care of me ... so why the hell am I ... "
"I know. I knew this was coming. I thought that maybe just this once, it wouldn't happen. I can go inside ... I won't bother you anymore ... "
"No, it's ok. You can stay out here."
Before I knew it she had rested her head on my leg. I don't think she even realized what she was doing. She just closed her eyes and said "I like it out here ... I like the sound of the water in the creek. I can't stand it when it's too quiet or too loud inside. It's just right out here." And then she feel asleep.
I don't know why I didn't grab her by the hair and shove her away from me. There's just something about her ... I don't think I'll ever understand it. |
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Read 1 - Post |
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| enjoy her every cry, you can see in the dark through the eyes of laura mars ... |
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| 05:15am 15/09/2002 |
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mood:  thoughtful
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I suppose the visit to meet the family was a bit too much for Jibrille ... she went from having the flu to waking up with a migraine. She had been in her room most of the day and only came out to get medicine from Hatori.
She seems very tired, and very weak ... it's like looking in the mirror and seeing my own reflection when I look at her. When she's in her room, the only sounds I hear are from her crying, and when she's not crying or asleep she plays music. It's not loud music, though ... it's soft, and pretty. I traced back Jibrille's recent downloads and found out that the song is called "Gold Dust", and it's by Tori Amos. She listens to it over and over. I think she listens to it so much because she connects with it ... in a way, it reminds me of her ... and in a way, I can find myself in it as well.
sights and sounds
pull me back down
another year
i was here
i was here
whipping past
the reflecting pool
me and you
skipping school
and we make it up
as we go along
we make it up we
go along
you said -
you raced from langley -
pulling me underneath
a cherry blossom
canopy
-do i have-
of course i have,
beneath my raincoat,
i have your photographs.
and the sun on your
face
i'm freezing that frame
and somewhere alfie cries
and says "enjoy his every smile
you can see in the dark
through the eyes of laura mars"
how did it go so fast
you'll say
as we are looking
back
and then we'll
understand
we held gold dust
in our
hands
sights and sounds
pull me back down
another year
i was here
i was here
gaslights
glow in the street
(flickering past)
twilight held us
in her palm
as we walked along
and we make it up
as we go along
we make it up as we go along
letting names
hang in the
air
what color hair
(auburn crimson)
autumn knowingly
stared
and the day that
she came
i'm freezing that
frame
i'm freezing that frame
and somewhere alfie
smiles
and says "enjoy her
every cry
you can see in the
dark
through the eyes
of laura mars"
how did it go so
fast
you'll say as we are looking back
and then we'll understand
we held gold dust
in our
hands
I wanted to talk with Yuki ... but he locked himself in his room, and I was being too distracted by the rest of the family to go and break down his door. Maybe next time ... |
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Read 4 - Post |
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| cherry blossoms |
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| 09:34pm 12/09/2002 |
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mood:  drained
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I have not been feeling well today, and spent most of the day just outside of my room on the porch. There is a nice view of the lake and the sakura trees from there.
At one point, I noticed that someone was standing at the door. When I looked up I saw Jibrille just leaning against the doorframe and gazing out at the scenery.
"Have you heard the story of why Sakura blossoms are pink?" she asked. She still had this serene, unfeeling look on her face.
"I think I have .... "
"They say that they bury bodies under the trees, and that the blood seeps into the roots and helps the tree to grow. If a body isn't buried under the tree, the blossoms would be as white as snow."
I just looked at her for a moment. She didn't even move, she just continued to look out at the trees.
Then she spoke quietly "When I die, I want to be buried under a Sakura tree." Then she looked down at me and gave a soft smile before turning and walking out of my room.
Sometimes, I wonder if she can read my mind ...
I think it's odd that none of the other Souma family has come to meet her. Usually whenever we get a new assistant at least some of the family would come and introduce themselves just for the benefit of her knowing them and letting them in when they come over. But not a single one of them has come to see her. I wonder if Hatori even mentioned to anyone about Jibrille?
Ah, well. I should lie down. *sighs* So tired ... |
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| Unusually quiet day |
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| 03:18pm 11/09/2002 |
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mood: drained
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This morning Jibrille left the house pretty early ... said something about watching a maple tree being planted in front of the American Embassy. I didn't understand why she had to travel that far just to see a tree being planted. I mean, if she wants to watch a tree being planted she can do that here, it isn't like we don't have the land for it.
When she came home she looked very tired and worn out. She brought my tea in without saying a word and didn't wait to be dismissed. She just left and went to go lie on the couch. After a bit I went to go and see what she was doing (I wanted to wring her neck for not waiting to be dismissed), and she was still lying on the couch, just slumped over and half-staring at the floor. She looked like she was about to cry. When she noticed my presence, she just took a pillow and covered her head with it.
She's been staying in there since. I haven't heard a sound or seen any movement from her.
I'm not worried. She can stay in there for all I care. Die and rot ... and Hatori will just hire some other stupid girl that won't last a week ...
Hatori has the tv on in the room across the hall and I can hear something about it being the anniversary of the terrorist attacks from where Jibrille is from. So that must be why she's acting this way.
*sighs* As much as I like for things to be quiet, it's too quiet. Even the birds aren't around chirping as they usually do. This whole day is just ... unusually eerie. It's amazing how a thing such as this affects the whole world, the way thousands of people died.
Yet I doubt anyone will mourn my death. They will be rejoicing instead. |
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